I find myself in a strange and conflicted place this week. Ambivalent about my marriage, questioning why I am dedicating this much effort while she seems determined to leave. Not enough sleep, poor diet and decreased exercise activity over the past couple of weeks have left me feeling tired and off balance.
This shifts are natural, for we are only human. However, it does feel strange coming from a place of certainty and strength, to this.
Questions pop in and out of my mind: why can’t I accept that she is not honest, why do I find it so difficult to let her go, why am I thinking this way?
It takes discipline to stay on your path of healing and growth. I need to prioritize sleep, focus on eating while foods, and exercise.
A running injury has kept me off form for the last few months but I have been making it up for it by increasing my gym routine with a focus on kettle bells to maintain strength and cardiovascular fitness.
It also helps if you have a support network around you. Talk to the people you trust, who understand you and your situation. Always respect your partner’s privacy. You do not have to go through this journey on your own. Keep the long term perspective in mind, as hard as it may be in the present.
Write down your vision for your life. Don’t just have this in your mind, write it down. It is incredibly powerful to come back to when the storms rise up. This will be your anchor.
Spring time takes patience, discipline and hard work. This is necessary for the harvest season to. bear fruit.
And remember, this too shall pass.