Begin with the end in mind. As you grow from your experience, heal from the pain, it is important to be clear about what it is you want to accomplish, where it is you want to go on your personal journey.
Reeling from a tumultuous last few weeks, I can attest to how easy it is be utterly confused about what to do. The danger for those of us struggling to move forward is that we tend to be vulnerable to outside influences.
In my case, working with a counselor who didn’t quite believe in the value of working to save a marriage. And then, my finding a marriage forum where reconciliation was not a recommended approach with reason after reason why it is easier to start again with someone else.
Now, don’t get me wrong, not all couples can or want to reconcile for various reasons. But for those who do, there is a pervasive message out there that it is just not worth it.
I found myself going down a rabbit hole compiling information to rationalize why I should give up and just walk away.
Then, I found a different resource, a book that advocated working on saving marriages from divorce. ‘Divorce Busting’ gave me a chance to think and to ask myself: What is it that I want from all of this?
I found my anchor again and this has helped me to take a step back, re-evaluate my journey of healing and growth in the last few weeks and to regain clarity after a really confusing time.
Begin with the end in mind. Take the time and space to reflect what it is you want, not just for your pain to end, not just to reconcile or to leave but what you want your life ultimately to be.
If you are interested in exploring a seemingly counterintuitive approach to save your marriage, I recommend reading ‘Divorce Busting’ (there is a more recent version of the book titled ‘The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage‘) and checking out the accompanying online forum at: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums
And a warning, take everything you read, especially online, with a grain of salt (including my blog). Everyone is proclaiming their words of wisdom as absolute. It is up to you to decide what is best for your desired outcome.
PS: I do not have any affiliation to the book’s author nor have I been paid to endose the book or the website. It is one of the fantastic resources I have discovered and have been using in my own journey.